All your beef are belong to us

Monday, November 18, 2002

Beef Story #90

Author: Reuben

So our Esperanza group was trying to get into Minute Maid Park for the dance but we didn't have tickets and those uptight punks from the RPC wouldn't let us in even though there was less than 30 minutes left before the dance would end. So we ended up dancing outside in the cold. Freakin' racists...


zig
THE VERDICT: THE ROD UP THE RPC'S BUTT MUST HAVE A ROD UP ITS BUTT.

Friday, November 15, 2002

Beef Story #89

Author: Catherine Matherine

I decided that I would go volunteer at the local hospital as something nice to do for the community as well as a way to confirm or reject my hypothesis that I should apply to med school next year. I called up the volunteer office and they told me to bring in my immunization records as well as my SS ID and my driver's license and that I'd have to take a reading test and go through a volunteer interview. So I called my brother and asked him to email my records and I made sure not to go out of town for the weekend just so I could go in on Monday, Veteran's Day, one of my precious few days off from work. Well, I didn't even get to stick my head in the door when the woman in the volunteer office (who was playing Solitaire when I walked in) asked me what I wanted, and I said that I wanted to volunteer (duh!). She asked me if I was a student, and I said no, but that I was thinking about applying to med school and wanted to get more experience. She said, "I'm sorry, but our next premed orientation session is in February. Come back then." I asked her if there were any other spots open during the evenings or weekends and she said "Do I not look like I'm being truthful? I have 300 people just like you who want to get "exposure". You can't just weasel your way in here without going through the premed orientation like everyone else!" Then she said many other rude things to me before I left. Some "interview"!!!!


catherine
THE VERDICT: BEEFY

Beef Story #88

Author: Reuben

I HATE FIRE ALARMS. The fire alarm in my room kept going off and setting off every alarm in Martel for no reason. It went off at around 4am and woke up everybody (including people who had a diffe test the next morning) and then it went off again at 10am the next day while I was taking a dump. Now everyone wants me dead. This is beefy because I didn't do anything, yet they still cry out for my blood.

reub
THE VERDICT: LAO TIAN!!!!!!