Dear Auto-Flushing Toilet,
Please crawl into whatever hole you came from and just DIE you stupid piece of useless junk.
Thursday, December 01, 2011
Beef File #134 : Stupid Auto-Flushing Toilets
Dear Auto-Flushing Toilet,
Please crawl into whatever hole you came from and just DIE you stupid piece of useless junk.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Beef File #133: BAD BREATH
Author: anonymous
If you want to smoke, that's fine, but please EAT SOME MINTS before talking to me. K thanks bai.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Beef Story #132: Discriminated in Singapore because I'm not "Chinese" enough
Author: roob
So I've been looking for an apartment in Singapore and found a nice advertisement online for a room that matched my requirements quite nicely. The ad said something like "chinese only" so anticipating this, I told the agent that I am half-Chinese, speak basic Mandarin, and have lived in China for one year. The agent flat-out told me though that "the owner still prefer Chinese." I called her and she tested my chinese ability with some simple questions and I replied promptly and proved to her I can still chingchong. Later though she texted again and said, "the owner insist on Chinese only."
王八蛋！！！！
Tuesday, November 01, 2011
Beef Story #131 : Martial Beef
Author: anonymous
A couple of years ago I started taking martial arts classes and i joined a tournament the first year. I trained pretty hard for it. I knew my advantage was speed and stamina, so my plan was exhaust my opponent by running around all over the place and picking them apart. The weapons of choice were padded sticks but wore a big metal helmet to protect our heads.
The time came for my first fight and I was up against a larger, stronger, opponent. I had faced him before in a sparring match so I was pretty confident about my chances against him. When the ref gave the signal I didn't just begin to fight--I danced. I was all over the place. moving in and striking then quickly moving out of range. Sure, he got me sometimes, but for every time he hit me, I hit him back at least 2 or 3 times.
When the match ended they went to the judges. All three declared my opponent as the winner. What? Unanimous decision? Did I do that poorly? I'd accept a split decision loss, but unanimous? That didn't make any sense to me considering how dominant I felt during the match. Oh well, maybe it's a fluke and it's just a friendly tournament anyway.
After this defeat, I was moved to the loser's bracket, yet I faced a more experienced, skilled, faster opponent. Lucky for me he wasn't in top condition and a little out of shape so I decided to try the same strategy again. I weaved in and out, but so did he and we both got in some good attacks, with both of us making use of the entire ring. We both tried not to waste energy or allowing ourselves to stand there and take punishment. In the end I thought it must've been a great fight (probably one of the best fights of the tournament) that would be hard to call. However, when the judges called it again it was a unanimous victory for my opponent again. What? What the heck was going on? I felt like I performed well yet in both of my matches, none of the three judges gave me any points.
Disqualified, I sat down in disbelief and watched the rest of the matches, and I
slowly began to understand what was going wrong for me. The judges were giving the matches to the agressor. No matter how much damage the person took, if it looked like they were more agressive, they won the judges' votes. To the judges it looked like I was running away. It didn't matter that I was taking far less damage than my opponents, but my method of darting in, getting in a few quick hits then retreating back to a safe distance, didn't appeal to the judges at all.
In the end, the finalists of my division were my first opponent and another guy who was new to the martial art. Their styles were similar: barge in and use your strength to get in good hits, even at the cost of absorbing a few hits. This works fine in a tournament I guess but in real life if you get hit with one of these sticks that's all it takes to put you out. So I don't get why the tournament was scored in a way that rewards the person who is always attacking and leaving themselves open.
So that's when I said I'm never joining another tournament like this again and I have major beef with the judges. I give credit to my opponents, but in my mind I did not lose to them (at least not unanimously). I blame the judges.
although I've asked to see the original videos of my fight to prove my point, they have never been released to this very day.
VERDICT: ALL YOUR SOUR GRAPES ARE BELONG TO US
A couple of years ago I started taking martial arts classes and i joined a tournament the first year. I trained pretty hard for it. I knew my advantage was speed and stamina, so my plan was exhaust my opponent by running around all over the place and picking them apart. The weapons of choice were padded sticks but wore a big metal helmet to protect our heads.
The time came for my first fight and I was up against a larger, stronger, opponent. I had faced him before in a sparring match so I was pretty confident about my chances against him. When the ref gave the signal I didn't just begin to fight--I danced. I was all over the place. moving in and striking then quickly moving out of range. Sure, he got me sometimes, but for every time he hit me, I hit him back at least 2 or 3 times.
When the match ended they went to the judges. All three declared my opponent as the winner. What? Unanimous decision? Did I do that poorly? I'd accept a split decision loss, but unanimous? That didn't make any sense to me considering how dominant I felt during the match. Oh well, maybe it's a fluke and it's just a friendly tournament anyway.
After this defeat, I was moved to the loser's bracket, yet I faced a more experienced, skilled, faster opponent. Lucky for me he wasn't in top condition and a little out of shape so I decided to try the same strategy again. I weaved in and out, but so did he and we both got in some good attacks, with both of us making use of the entire ring. We both tried not to waste energy or allowing ourselves to stand there and take punishment. In the end I thought it must've been a great fight (probably one of the best fights of the tournament) that would be hard to call. However, when the judges called it again it was a unanimous victory for my opponent again. What? What the heck was going on? I felt like I performed well yet in both of my matches, none of the three judges gave me any points.
Disqualified, I sat down in disbelief and watched the rest of the matches, and I
slowly began to understand what was going wrong for me. The judges were giving the matches to the agressor. No matter how much damage the person took, if it looked like they were more agressive, they won the judges' votes. To the judges it looked like I was running away. It didn't matter that I was taking far less damage than my opponents, but my method of darting in, getting in a few quick hits then retreating back to a safe distance, didn't appeal to the judges at all.
In the end, the finalists of my division were my first opponent and another guy who was new to the martial art. Their styles were similar: barge in and use your strength to get in good hits, even at the cost of absorbing a few hits. This works fine in a tournament I guess but in real life if you get hit with one of these sticks that's all it takes to put you out. So I don't get why the tournament was scored in a way that rewards the person who is always attacking and leaving themselves open.
So that's when I said I'm never joining another tournament like this again and I have major beef with the judges. I give credit to my opponents, but in my mind I did not lose to them (at least not unanimously). I blame the judges.
although I've asked to see the original videos of my fight to prove my point, they have never been released to this very day.
VERDICT: ALL YOUR SOUR GRAPES ARE BELONG TO US
Saturday, October 08, 2011
Beef Story #130: Beefy Plus One
Author: "anonymous"
So I'm getting married and decided to send out an invite on facebook to gauge peoples' interest and in the invite I specifically said NO PLUS-ONE'S OR EXTRA GUESTS without PRIOR CONSENT yet a bunch of people keep posting that they're going to bring guests, most of whom didn't even ask us personally yet. Stuff like, "Cool, I'll bring this girl I picked up at the mall" or "Awesome! I'm bringing my whole family and the inlaws!" or "I'm gonna grab 20 random homeless people and bring them to the reception! Can't wait!" Please people... don't put the bride and groom in an awkward situation. This is BEEFY
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Beef Story #129: Smoked Beef Part 2
Author: roobs
So I think if you want to smoke, that's fine. That's your right to do whatever you want with your body, like getting tattoos, drinking alcohol, and listening to Justin Bieber. But I do have a problem with people who smoke in such a way that irritates and annoys the rest of us. For example, some people still choose to smoke while walking around in large crowds, which sucks for everyone behind them because they end up taking in all of the carcinogens that you just blew into the air. Not cool. If you're gonna smoke while you walk, stay away from crowds and don't just blow the smoke up into the air where it will land in the face of the person behind you. Be a responsible smoker, and don't endanger anyone else's lungs but your own. There's a reason most places restrict smoking to the "smoking" areas now--IT'S BECAUSE NORMAL PEOPLE DON'T LIKE THE STENCH OF SMOKE LIKE YOU DO. Is that so hard to understand? HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I WALKED IN FRONT OF YOU AND FARTED?
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Beef Story #128: Beef at the Opera
Author: timp
so i had bought this groupon for 2 tickets for opera under the stars
and i asked my friend who also enjoys classical music and such if he would like to go and he agreed
then i asked this girl who has a bf if they would like to go as a couple
she agreed but didnt buy the tickets right away
and i told my friend 'what if u buy another one and u can find a girl to go and i will do the same and make it something of a triple date'
now he is 26 and very restless for a wife, gf, woman whatever
so he without hesitation bought one and began his hunt
he asked this girl who recently started going to the korean service at our church, she is 31 very tall and pretty
he asked her over facebook... not as a date, just if she would like to go
she did agree and i also asked this girl from our church just as friends if she would like to go
and she agreed reluctantly because its opera
and the other couple didnt buy the groupon so it was just us 4
so i asked him just so we were clear... if it was or wasnt a date
so he agrees its not a date
and i asked if she was clear on that and he said yeah probably, not explicitly but likely
which i guess was sufficient for me at the time
so saturday rolls around and i call him to let him know we are meeting for dinner
and he says ok, can we push the time back or something because i told her i would pick her up at 630
and then im like................. -______-
and im like whatever the thing starts at 730 and 630 is already pushing dinner
call her and see what u can do
and so we decide to meet at the restaurant at 630 and they are late get there about 720
cause she was still getting ready
and then we have a nice dinner
great food
good conversations
the check comes
and he PAYS FOR HER
and im like -________________________-
well no im more like -___________________-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
ok so shes like no why
and she looks at my "date" because that is what it officially became
and she says why dont i pay... u are paying
and im thinking like shoot.... do i have to offer to pay for her now? we are just friends it would be awkward for me to pay for her but its awkward for me not to pay for her
so im trying to do this quick mental calculation to determine which route would result in the least awkwardness
so shes still confused as to why hes paying
as am i and my 'date'
so hes like... umm yeah for new friendship! welcome to houston and kpc!
and at this point i had kinda given up -__-
salvaging any kind of dignity for myself
so my question is... is there ANY doubt that this was a date
despite his confirmation in the beginning that it wasnt going to be
he picks her up, buys her dinner, takes her to the opera
oh and then his 'date' was like oh i will buy u guys drinks at the opera then
but they only took cash and she had none
so i bought drinks for everyone
pretty awkward and humiliating on my part
THE VERDICT: I ONCE STRANGLED A MAN WITH DENTAL FLOSS
so i had bought this groupon for 2 tickets for opera under the stars
and i asked my friend who also enjoys classical music and such if he would like to go and he agreed
then i asked this girl who has a bf if they would like to go as a couple
she agreed but didnt buy the tickets right away
and i told my friend 'what if u buy another one and u can find a girl to go and i will do the same and make it something of a triple date'
now he is 26 and very restless for a wife, gf, woman whatever
so he without hesitation bought one and began his hunt
he asked this girl who recently started going to the korean service at our church, she is 31 very tall and pretty
he asked her over facebook... not as a date, just if she would like to go
she did agree and i also asked this girl from our church just as friends if she would like to go
and she agreed reluctantly because its opera
and the other couple didnt buy the groupon so it was just us 4
so i asked him just so we were clear... if it was or wasnt a date
so he agrees its not a date
and i asked if she was clear on that and he said yeah probably, not explicitly but likely
which i guess was sufficient for me at the time
so saturday rolls around and i call him to let him know we are meeting for dinner
and he says ok, can we push the time back or something because i told her i would pick her up at 630
and then im like................. -______-
and im like whatever the thing starts at 730 and 630 is already pushing dinner
call her and see what u can do
and so we decide to meet at the restaurant at 630 and they are late get there about 720
cause she was still getting ready
and then we have a nice dinner
great food
good conversations
the check comes
and he PAYS FOR HER
and im like -________________________-
well no im more like -___________________-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
ok so shes like no why
and she looks at my "date" because that is what it officially became
and she says why dont i pay... u are paying
and im thinking like shoot.... do i have to offer to pay for her now? we are just friends it would be awkward for me to pay for her but its awkward for me not to pay for her
so im trying to do this quick mental calculation to determine which route would result in the least awkwardness
so shes still confused as to why hes paying
as am i and my 'date'
so hes like... umm yeah for new friendship! welcome to houston and kpc!
and at this point i had kinda given up -__-
salvaging any kind of dignity for myself
so my question is... is there ANY doubt that this was a date
despite his confirmation in the beginning that it wasnt going to be
he picks her up, buys her dinner, takes her to the opera
oh and then his 'date' was like oh i will buy u guys drinks at the opera then
but they only took cash and she had none
so i bought drinks for everyone
pretty awkward and humiliating on my part
THE VERDICT: I ONCE STRANGLED A MAN WITH DENTAL FLOSS
Thursday, September 01, 2011
Beef Story #127: Smoked Beef
Author: ruy
So I was awakened at 4am this morning when my flatmates started banging on my door and telling me we need to run for our lives because some jackasses started a fire on the first floor that sent smoke up through the stairwells to all of the floors semi-near the ground level. Anyway, we rushed out, only wearing "pang-bahay" (for the house) clothes (wife-beater and shorts) while we stood around at a safe distance with other tenants watching firemen spraying down a trashcan. So apparently some idiot was burning something either in the trashcan or too close to it and the trashcan probably had something flammable or explosive inside which caused the humongous fire. Were they burning stuff for the hungry ghost festival? Was it a prank or the work of some deranged arsonist? Either way, whoever did this is an idiot and if I ever find out who did it, they will be sorry.
THE VERDICT: I FEEL NOTHING ANYMORE
So I was awakened at 4am this morning when my flatmates started banging on my door and telling me we need to run for our lives because some jackasses started a fire on the first floor that sent smoke up through the stairwells to all of the floors semi-near the ground level. Anyway, we rushed out, only wearing "pang-bahay" (for the house) clothes (wife-beater and shorts) while we stood around at a safe distance with other tenants watching firemen spraying down a trashcan. So apparently some idiot was burning something either in the trashcan or too close to it and the trashcan probably had something flammable or explosive inside which caused the humongous fire. Were they burning stuff for the hungry ghost festival? Was it a prank or the work of some deranged arsonist? Either way, whoever did this is an idiot and if I ever find out who did it, they will be sorry.
THE VERDICT: I FEEL NOTHING ANYMORE
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