Stop feeding me disgusting sugarless oatmeal for lunch or I'll make you puke at the next important meeting you have to attend.
THE VERDICT: MEESA SO HUNGRY ANI!!!!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Beef Story #109
Author: Reuben's stomach
Stop feeding me disgusting sugarless oatmeal for lunch or I'll make you puke at the next important meeting you have to attend.
THE VERDICT: MEESA SO HUNGRY ANI!!!!
Stop feeding me disgusting sugarless oatmeal for lunch or I'll make you puke at the next important meeting you have to attend.
THE VERDICT: MEESA SO HUNGRY ANI!!!!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Beef Story #108
Author: reub
The upstairs neighbors are at it again. They're POOING and singing karaoke. Every time they lay down a stinker we can smell every little detail down here because of a faulty, leaking pipe. The pooing--I can understand. Nature calls. But it's the late-night karaoke that's beefin' me.
The last time they had their late-night karaoke torture session, I called the police and my transformation into the old cranky downstairs neighbor was complete. About an hour later the karaoke stopped and the police didn't arrive yet so I went to sleep. Then a half hour later the phone rings....and it's the police.
Police: Are you the one who called? Are your neighbors still making a disturbance??
Me: Uh, no. They stopped nearly an hour ago.
Police: Do you want to come down here so you can file a report?
Me: I'd like to file a report against the both of you ... but nah, that's okay--I just wanna get some sleep. I'll get you back later. Thanks for nothing.
Police: You're welcome. Have a pleasant evening.
THE VERDICT: I'VE GOT NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT THAT
The upstairs neighbors are at it again. They're POOING and singing karaoke. Every time they lay down a stinker we can smell every little detail down here because of a faulty, leaking pipe. The pooing--I can understand. Nature calls. But it's the late-night karaoke that's beefin' me.
The last time they had their late-night karaoke torture session, I called the police and my transformation into the old cranky downstairs neighbor was complete. About an hour later the karaoke stopped and the police didn't arrive yet so I went to sleep. Then a half hour later the phone rings....and it's the police.
Police: Are you the one who called? Are your neighbors still making a disturbance??
Me: Uh, no. They stopped nearly an hour ago.
Police: Do you want to come down here so you can file a report?
Me: I'd like to file a report against the both of you ... but nah, that's okay--I just wanna get some sleep. I'll get you back later. Thanks for nothing.
Police: You're welcome. Have a pleasant evening.
THE VERDICT: I'VE GOT NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT THAT
Friday, March 27, 2009
Beef Story #107
Author: Anonymous
My girlfriend was shopping for shoes so I sat down to play some GTA: Chinatown Wars on my DS. Soon enough, a crowd of little kids gathered around me and wanted to know what I was playing. How could I break it to the little tikes that I was murdering police officers, stealing cars, and selling drugs? So actually this beef isn't for me. I'm filing for the parents of those kids, who are probably wondering why their kids are asking them why powder coke is more expensive then the liquid kind. Hey, it's just a game.
THE VERDICT: You're an awful human being
My girlfriend was shopping for shoes so I sat down to play some GTA: Chinatown Wars on my DS. Soon enough, a crowd of little kids gathered around me and wanted to know what I was playing. How could I break it to the little tikes that I was murdering police officers, stealing cars, and selling drugs? So actually this beef isn't for me. I'm filing for the parents of those kids, who are probably wondering why their kids are asking them why powder coke is more expensive then the liquid kind. Hey, it's just a game.
THE VERDICT: You're an awful human being
Beef Story #106
Author: reuben
So I'm just chillin' in my apartment minding my own business when the downstairs neighbors decide to start screaming at each other at the top of their lungs. Usually most people don't have the lung capacity to sustain such an intense level of yelling and rage for prolonged periods of time but somehow these people just can't seem to stop.
After yelling "SHUT YER HOLE!!!!" out the window things seemed to quiet down and we were given a brief respite (probably due to the awkwardness). However, within the next few minutes the yelling continued. When I was younger, my friends and I would make so much noise in our apartment that our downstairs neighbors would smack their ceiling with a broomstick to get our attention and potentially shame us into being quiet. It never really worked. Now I'm the one with the broomstick and oh how the tables have turned. Some might say it's karma, justice, or reaping what you sow. I say it's beef.
THE VERDICT: BEEFY, THIS IS
So I'm just chillin' in my apartment minding my own business when the downstairs neighbors decide to start screaming at each other at the top of their lungs. Usually most people don't have the lung capacity to sustain such an intense level of yelling and rage for prolonged periods of time but somehow these people just can't seem to stop.
After yelling "SHUT YER HOLE!!!!" out the window things seemed to quiet down and we were given a brief respite (probably due to the awkwardness). However, within the next few minutes the yelling continued. When I was younger, my friends and I would make so much noise in our apartment that our downstairs neighbors would smack their ceiling with a broomstick to get our attention and potentially shame us into being quiet. It never really worked. Now I'm the one with the broomstick and oh how the tables have turned. Some might say it's karma, justice, or reaping what you sow. I say it's beef.
THE VERDICT: BEEFY, THIS IS
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